Glasgow Hacks

Kathryn Stevenson

Graduation is approaching and, apart from feeling extremely withered from nearly four years of excessive boozing, there is a slight smell of smugness in the air as we don our robes and head for the skies. However for those of you still struggling through your university career, don’t panic, I’m here to impart my wisdom on you as a final farewell gift. Or something.

Never pay full price for a meal during the week

Glasgow is bursting with two-for-ones, buy one get one frees and Groupon deals galore. Anything else is daylight robbery. Or you can use the fact the meal is half price to justify purchasing that over-priced bottle of wine. You win some, you lose some.

Be nice to the Library Level 3 Café ladies

They have great chat and give free stamps to those who find favour. It also passes the time quite nicely – that awkward lingering part when you’re still tumbling over milk and sugar. That’s the part when the ladies like to gush about weekends away, driving tests and husbands who come from Dungannon (hats off to anyone who gets that reference).

Never rush away from a gig at O2 ABC

Take a stroll on down to the Nice’n’Sleazy where bands enjoy an after gig pint. Only the brave need apply as you actually have to approach the band and say something cheesy, like ‘great set tonight guys’. However if you can conquer this small obstacle (or reach it as I found in the case of Hozier – the man is 6 ft 5), a night of entertainment awaits.  I’ve spent many a night offending the lead singer of Kodaline, coercing one part of the Hudson Taylor duo into Irish dancing and charming the bass player from Naked and Famous into buying me another white Russian. All of whom I now consider friends for life, obviously.

Fan-girling the lead singer of Kodaline in Nice'n'Sleazy
Fan-girling the lead singer of Kodaline in Nice’n’Sleazy

The love/hate relationship you have with the Beer Bar

Like the queues on St Paddy’s day, I know we’re all dreading it but we’ll stand there anyway and await that glorious Irish pint of fun. Or having to endure other people’s bad taste of music on the jukebox- apologies for the Ja Rule. The place you’ll have some of the best nights at uni, and the place you’ll make some of your worst decisions. But with the cheapest pint of Tennents in the world, you know this love, deep down, will always prevail.

The Laws of the Library

The higher you go, the more intense it will be. If you’re planning a quick drop in then I advise no higher than Level 6, and even at that, you’re pushing it. There is a right of passage when it comes to what year groups can sit where. I had a personal vendetta for the first year who huffing and puffing on Level 8 last week. 1) You’re a first year – why are you even at the library? 2) You’re a first year – how did you even figure out how to get up here? My first year in the library, I spent the first couple of months wandering around short loan collection, just trying to figure out why the books weren’t in alphabetical order. Resulting in a severe dependency on Spark Notes – fingers crossed for the 2.1.

Story of a first year's life
Story of a first year’s life

Learn to like rugby

At least pretend to. Having to live in a house filled with girls, my Dad quickly discovered that rugby managed to dull the constant chat of make-up, revolving boyfriends and newly discovered hormones. So we became quite acquainted with the sport growing up. For those who haven’t, you should because if you haven’t noticed already, the six nations is a season in itself at University. You may not understand why there is so much touching or why they keep running into each other but it will be a vital part of your university life.

It's worth it for the forever-beautiful Ireland side, trust me
It’s worth it for the forever-beautiful Ireland side, trust me

So we can’t promise that you’ll get a first or come out with an array of valuable extra-curricular activities, but we can ensure that you’ll have the best/cheapest time of your life. Glasgow is an amazing city to spend your university years in, so get make sure you enjoy it. Spend too much money on bad house wine. Spend too much time in the Beer Bar thinking you’re the next Annie Mac on the jukebox. And spend too much time snooping around Sauciehall Street chasing rock stars. You’ll end up spending many late nights in the library but you’ll have so many “do you remember that time…” moments that it’ll make it all worth it.

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